Give me Liberty or Give me Ed!
by Mr. Dusk
Summary: A continuation of "The Eds are Coming", after aliens capture the cul-de-sac, robotic tentacles drop from their ship to capture the kids, starting with Ed, Sarah, and Kevin. Will the others be able to save their friends and return to Earth? Or will they all be subjected to the horrors of pacification?
1. Attack on Ed

**Part One: Attack on Ed**

Ed continued to drag Double-D through the snow as he ran away from Rolf's house. Ed ran around his house to the backyard where the monobrow boy opened up the window to his basement bedroom, jumped in, and pulled his friend inside, shutting the window behind him. Ed set his sock-hatted friend down as he started shoving furniture in front of all the openings to his basement be it the door or the window. Double-D took this moment to collect himself from the past excitement, and looked at his friend disapprovingly, "Ed that was rather rude of you to run out on Rolf's family." he nagged.

"No time to talk, barricading!" Ed yelled as he started nailing his worktable over the window.

Edd groaned and headed for the basement door, pushing the arm-chair Ed put up against the door out of the way, "Well I'm going back there, I don't want Rolf's relatives to get the impression that all Americans are rude, plus I left my shoes and coat there..." he opened the door to find Ed behind it.

"Double-D you can't go back there! They are not of this world!" the simple-minded boy pleaded.

The skinnier boy side-stepped his tall friend, not bothering to ask how he got behind the door before him, he climbed the stairs up to the main floor of the house. The Single-D Ed kept pleading for his friend to not go back to the house they had just ran away from, making outrageous claims of what they'd do to the sock-hatted boy is he were to go over there. After hearing about them grating his bones for bread, eat the jam between his toes, plant seeds in his brains, or even devour his very soul, Edd had enough. "Edward," Double-D began, "I find your xenophobia to be quite alarming, just what in the wide world makes you think that Rolf's relatives will cause grievous harm upon us?"

"Because they're aliens Double-D! Weirdos from another planet! Pod people!" Ed screamed.

Double-D groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, he was starting to lose his patience, "Ed, for the last time, there is no such thing as aliens!" with that, the sock-hatted boy opened up the front door, and his tall friend's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. Edd turned to look outside to see what looked like a metallic tentacle. This tentacle went right for Ed, wrapped around his big belly and grabbed tight, and pulled on the boy who quickly grabbed onto the side of the door as the tentacle pulled him towards the sky.

"I don't want to be turned inside out! Help Double-D! Aliens bad for Ed!" he screamed as the side of the door started to give away. Double-D couldn't help but stand there, shocked by what he was seeing right in front of him. Sure enough, the side of the door broke away and Edd watched helplessly as his friend was dragged upwards into the flying saucer overhead, his jaw just barely reaching the pavement. The ship itself looked like a huge metallic circle that obscured the entire sky around the cul-de-sac area with blinking and flashing lights of reds, blues, purples, and yellows.

The paralyzing sensation wore off with a the sounds of a window breaking and screams up above him, Double-D looked up to see another metallic tentacle pulling Ed's sister Sarah out of her bedroom, screaming her head off for her friend Jimmy to help her. The frail pale-skinned boy was grabbing onto her hands, trying to pull her back into the house, instead the little boy was pulled out of the house and gripped his friend for dear life. Of course, being the small boy that he was, Jimmy's grip weakened and he let go, falling to the ground below.

Edd ran over to the boy, "Jimmy! Are you alright?" he asked.

"Robot claws from the sky! They've really come for us!" the child screamed.

Double-D helped him up, "We have to find the others, then get somewhere safe!" the sock-hatted boy saw that Nazz was still tied up to the light posts. The blonde girl had witnessed the previous abductions and was now struggling more to get out of the ropes the rest of the kids had tied her up in. The girl then noticed the two boys who were running towards her.

"Guys, get me out of these-" the two ran past her into Rolf's house, "ropes? Hey, get me out of here guys!"

Edd stopped to get his shoes and jacket on while Jimmy ran into the kitchen where Rolf was preparing refreshments for his relatives, the hairy boy spotted the child and smiled, "Oh-ho! Have you come back to join in the festivities frail Jimmy?"

The little boy grabbed onto Rolf's collar, "Help us Rolf! Aliens have come down to abduct us all! They got Ed and Sarah!"

Rolf pushed Jimmy off, "You speak no sense, besides, Rolf has his hands full with guests and cannot be bothered now."

While Jimmy started begging for help, Double-D went into the living room to see the slide show still going on with Rolf's projector. The still images being projected were not too pleasing to the eye as what was being shown at the moment was the inner workings of a slaughterhouse. The relatives of Rolf's all seem to greet Double-D, but all in a language that Edd didn't know or recognize, "Um..hello to you too?" he cautiously said with a wave.

"Double-D, get me out of here!" yelled the familiar voice of Eddy, "I hate being a footrest!"

The sock-hatted boy looked down to see his shorter friend's head being used by Rolf's one-eyed nana who started speaking to Edd in a raspy voice in the same language as the rest of Rolf's relatives. Double-D cleared his throat and pointed at Eddy, "Excuse me, but can I have my friend back?" he asked. The older lady nodded and lifted her leg, allowing Eddy get up. Edd thanked her and the two left the living room.

"Thanks, think you could've done that earlier before you an Ed ran off?" Eddy questioned.

Double-D stopped his friend from going out the door, "Eddy, listen, I know this may sound preposterous, but we're all in danger!"

"Yeah, we're in danger of being turned into furniture for these freaks! I swear, I'll never eat meat again..."

"No Eddy, we're in danger because we're being attacked by aliens!"

"...this joke wasn't funny the first time Double-D, try to find new material."

Double-D quickly opened the blinds of the nearby window and pointed up at the sky, "See for yourself!"

Eddy looked out and saw the huge alien saucer hovering over the cul-de-sac. His eyes started to twitch, and he quickly shut the blinds of the window, "This day just keeps getting better and better..." he groaned.

Just then, the local loner Jonny ran into the house, "Eddy! Double-D! We're being invaded by aliens!"

"Yeah, tell us something we don't know, Jonnyboy." Eddy told him.

"They got Kevin! They grabbed him with their alien claw!"

Edd put his hands on both sides of his head, "Oh dear, that's three now!"

Jimmy came out of the kitchen in tears, "Rolf won't help us, he's too busy with his relatives!" he cried.

The short Ed-boy grabbed some suitcases off-screen, "Well, that does it, we gotta get out of here!" Eddy ran outside, followed by the others, passing by Nazz who screamed at them again. He stopped suddenly when he realized that the road ended abruptly and that the kids weren't on their home planet anymore, instead the cul-de-sac looked to be flying through space in some sort of air bubble that allowed them to breathe. Or something like that.

"It's hopeless, we're doomed!" screamed Jimmy.

Edd started to head back towards the neighborhood, "Quick, let's head back to Kevin's basement and regroup!"

The others followed Double-D and Jonny looked up, seeing more robot tentacles coming down from the alien ship, "Run Plank, they're coming for us!" Jonny yelled as he started running with the others.

The group ran past Nazz again, "What, again? Seriously? You're all a bunch of jerks!" she screamed at them.

Double-D doubled back and cut the ropes with a pair of scissors he had in his pocket, "My apologies Nazz, with all that's going on I-"

"Shut up and come on!" the blonde pulled the skinny boy along as they ran with the others around the house of their abducted leader Kevin, and zoomed down the steps to the outside basement. Eddy had the door open and was pushed aside into the door jamb by Jonny and Plank who ran in first with Jimmy going in second, Nazz and Edd then ran in with Edd coming back out to pull Eddy in and shut the door just as the metal tentacles reached the backyard. Nazz then put down the large chunk of wood they had for the door lock.

"Phew, thank goodness wood is the true weakness of aliens, huh Plank?" Jonny asked his 2x4 friend.

**To Be Continued...**


	2. All Your Ed Are Belong to Us

**Part Two: All Your Ed Are Belong to Us**

Ed had been strapped to a cold metal table proportionate to his size that was moving on its own down the long bland metal corridors of the alien ship the simple-minded Ed-boy had been brought upon. The metal table went through a door into a very dark room where Ed was blinded by a bright light that suddenly shined in his face. As his eyes adjusted, he could just make out the appearance of some humanoid creature with a skinny yet tall body and a large head with one huge cat-like yellow eye, no nose, and a small mouth. This creature had a clipboard that it held with two of its four tentacles.

"Ed, right?" it asked in a gruff, low voice.

The simple boy screamed out, "AAAAHHH! PLEASE DON'T COOK ED FOR SUNDAY SUPPER!"

The creature wrote on its clipboard with a pen it held in another tentacle, "I'll take that as a yes, subject confirmed."

"Initiating knowledge extraction." responded a computer voice from above. A hatch from the celing opened up and a huge chrome helmet came down and attached itself to Ed's head.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE GOING TO LIQUIFY MY BRAIN AND DRINK IT WITH A BENDY STRAW!"

The one-eyed tentacle monster shoot its head, "No Ed, that's the Yugopotamians, we're just erasing all of your knowledge on the subject of extraterrestrials, nothing too lethal."

"But why? And why do you know my name? And how can you speak English?"

"First off: you possess too much info on us and therefore pose as our biggest threat. The reason we know your name is that we have been watching you and your fellow Terrans for quite some time and we've come to learn who are the most threatening of you lot."

Two screens also came out of the ceiling and lowered down above Ed, they turned on to show Sarah and Kevin being fitted with some sort of metallic head gear, "While you have the most knowledge out of your pack, these two are the most violent. They will be the first to undergo total pacification."

"Baby sister!" Ed cried out in vain as the monitors shut off and went back from whence they came.

"As for how I'm speaking English, I picked it up during my Intergalactic Planetary Communications Course back at the university. Any other pointless questions before our machine plays with your nervous system like a kitten would with a ball of yarn?"

For all his life, the tall Ed-boy wanted to meet a creature from beyond the stars. He had so many questions to ask them, such as what life was like on other worlds or if Earth really was only "mostly harmless" or whether Scientology or Mormons were correct, "Nah, I'm good." Ed finally answered.

"Begin the extractions!" announced the alien.

The machine turned on, causing a very uncomfortable sensation similar to putting your head into a blender causing Ed to scream his head off.

**XxXxX**

"This is a total disaster, our friends have been captured by aliens, and now we're all stuck here in this dark and cold basement trapped like rats doing nothing..." complained Jimmy.

"Hey, I'm doing something!" yelled Eddy from across the basement.

"You're just trying to break into Kevin's house!" yelled Nazz, pointing at the short boy tearing up a wall.

"It's still doing something, we're gonna need his food sometime!"

Jonny had an ear to his wooden buddy, "Plank thinks that you're only trying to get at his jawbreakers!"

Eddy frowned, "Oh sure, like that's my only priority, what other amazing ideas does that piece of wood got?"

The bald kid put an ear back to Plank's mouth and waited for a bit, he grew a confused look across his face, "Huh? You want me to tell them what?"

"What is it, Jonny?" asked Edd.

Jonny covered Plank's drawn-on face, "He's just joking, he's saying that he's really an alien spy sent here to gain information on us, Plank you're such a riot!" the bald boy laughed.

Eddy rolled his eyes, "What an idiot."

Double-D rubbed his larger-than-average chin, "You know Eddy, with all the odd things that have been happening today, Plank being an alien spy doesn't seem too far-fetched."

"C'mon Double-D, if he really wanted us to believe that he was an alien spy, he would've exposed himself already!"

"_So it's come to this, I have to reveal myself." _came a voice Eddy had never heard before, a voice that sounded like it came from a higher class of person.

"AH!" screamed Jimmy.

"W-what was that?" Nazz asked.

The kids looked around the room to see there was nobody else in there with him.

"_I'm over here."_

One by one, the kids all turned towards Jonny and Plank, the former still covering the mouth of the latter.

"...no, no freaking way." the short Ed started to sweat.

The sock-hatted boy cautiously approached the boy with the board, "...Plank, was that you?"

"_Nothing gets past you, huh smart guy?"_

Eddy covered his ears with his hands, "I didn't hear that, I didn't hear that voice."

"_Of course you didn't hear it, I'm not really speaking."_

"Just... just what's going on?" asked the blonde girl.

"Plank is talking to you with his telepathy, he talks to me with it all the time!" Jonny answered.

"_Listen to the boy, he's one of the few humans that actually has sense in this crazy world."_

"Can you help us?" asked Jimmy.

"_Of course I can, but I believe I haven't introduced myself properly yet."_

Jonny set Plank down on a chair, and all the kids gathered around the piece of plywood.

"But...but the aliens!" complained the frail boy.

"Jimmy, don't you think you're being a bit rude?" asked Double-D.

"But the cul-de-sac is-"

"Just sit down and listen curlyque, we'll do something later!" Eddy told him.

"_It won't take too long, I promise."_

Jimmy sighed, and sat down next to Nazz and Jonny as Plank began his story.

"_My story begins long ago, I wasn't always a 2x4 board of wood...I was a seed that was planted from a starship into the earth of your world in the country you know as China, from there I grew into a marvelous tree, bearing the fruits of knowledge and wisdom from the culture of my people which I spread among the Chinese people, later to be known as Taoism-"_

"Okay, I call bullcrap on that." Eddy called out.

"Let me see if I have this correct," Double-D started, "You are actually an alien that landed in China quite a long time ago and spread the religion of Taoism...but how did you end up here?

"_To be honest, I'm not so sure."_

"Pardon me?"

"_I fell asleep for a few thousand years and when I regain consciousness, I was in the New World."_

Nazz shrugged, "I guess that part doesn't really matter, so how did you end up with Jonny?"

"_Funny story, I roamed the country along with a group of flower children, one of them happened to be this boy's grandmother."_

"He's got great stories about free love and Woodstock!" Jonny added.

"_Yes, but we don't have time for that, plus they're not appropriate for a K+ rating."_

"You were a hand-me-down?" Edd asked.

"_Indeed, though it was Jonny who gave me a face, it was the kindest thing anybody's ever done for me..."_

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, so what, you want to help us because you like Earth now?" Eddy asked.

"_Actually no, I personally have many issues with this wretched world of yours, do you realize how many problems it has?"_

"Unfortunately, yes." admitted the sock-hatted boy.

"_I could go for hours describing my distaste for you and your people, but my best friend Jonny is also here, so I wish to help out in any way I can."_

"Jonny, did you know Plank was an alien?" asked the blonde girl.

The bald boy shook his head, "Nah, this is all news to me, I just figured he came from a magic tree."

Edd stood up and got in front of the group, "Okay then, if we're going to go up against these space creatures, we're going to need a plan."

"_Do not worry, I already thought of a-"_

"I'm way ahead of you!" the kids turned to see Jimmy up at the chalk board, having already drawn up an intricate strategy.

"Jimmy, when did you start drawing that?" asked Double-D.

"I stopped listening when Plank mentioned China."

"You and me both kid." agreed Eddy.

"Anyway, my plan begins with one of us going topside to distract the aliens to get them to send down their robo-wigglies, when the hatch opens, the rest of us will simply fling ourselves up into the hatch – also Double-D, you'll have to build a catapult – and from there we'll attack the aliens who seem to be too weak to come down here themselves, rescue Sarah, Kevin, and Ed if we must, then we take over the ship and fly the cul-de-sac back to Earth!"

The basement was silent for a moment.

"_...or I guess we can just do that."_

Double-D looked around the basement, "I suppose I can build some sort of catapult from the materials down here."

"Great plan little dude!" Nazz cheered.

Eddy muttered to himself, "I could've came up with a better idea."

"_I didn't hear you offering any suggestions"_

"Get out of my head!" the short boy shouted.

Jonny giggled, "Looks like we've got our work cut out for ourselves, huh Plank?"

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
